Benadryl and THC

#bipolardiaries

I wanted to die yesterday so I took 100mg Benadryl. I did pass out, fell asleep for a few hours, and woke up around noon time to wait for my friend to arrive and bring me some pot.

The shitty feeling of a Benadryl overdose took over me when I woke up; my muscles tingled and my bones felt brittle. It felt like I could crawl out of my skin. With blurry vision, I struggled to keep awake, took deep breaths to fill my lungs with oxygen and watched some Dr. Phil over YouTube.


We met around 2 in the afternoon and went about our usual business. We got some good pot. For the first time in what felt like forever, I got the munchies and ate a ton of junk food. We were like weed warriors who yielded bottled water and corn chips. We listened to Sticky Fingers towards the end of the session and pretty much just stared at the dream catchers on the opposite side of my apartment.

We've been dope buddies since 2015, and I am grateful to have this friendship with him.


I've also been writing on another blog. Not planning to disclose it to anyone or anywhere soon, but here's a clipping that I'd like to copy over here:

Gusto ko nang bumalik sa Real, mag camp mag-isa sa The Park, pasanin ang board ko hanggang Magra, at itigil na ang lahat ng kahibangan na ito at maglaro na lang sa tubig.

Mas gugustuhin ko pang ma-wipe out nang isandaang beses sa tubig kesa mabigo sa pag-ibig. As in sawang sawa na ako nakakasuka na.

Gusto ko lang naman ng isang masaya, tahimik, at matiwasay na simpleng pumuhay. Yung makakapagtiwala ako sa mga bagay bagay. Ayoko nang maglaro. Ayoko nang umasa at maghintay at maniwala at masaktan.

Kung may dapat man akong mahalin, mga alon na lang siguro. Dahil alam kong kahit mawala man ang alon at pabago bago, kahit masakit ang hampas niya minsan, siya ang kanlungan na lagi kong maaasahan na hahatakin ako pabalik sa mga panibagong sikat ng araw.

In my other blog, I write in vernacular. It gives me a fresh feeling and a raw aspect in my writing. It is less deliberate, more casual, more profane. I like it. It feels like I'm just talking to a friend over some bottles of beer.

I want to write things like this more. I am refraining from posting on Facebook and just record things over here on write.as.